Transformed

I am walking through the valley. So close to the end. A new beginning right around the corner. All I can think of is how God has transformed me. 7 years ago I was at a night club ringing in the new year all alone. skinnier but lonelier. Then in March I became a disciple of Jesus. 6 years ago I was a was surrounded by friends but not really connecting with people I thought I was better than others. Even last year was so different I had my friends and I kind of liked this girl and so many things besides God brought me joy. This year I am not sure what New Years Eve will bring. I am so thankful that I have had some time to pray tonight. Many of my best are in Nashville. I feel like I only have God. It is kind of cool. Not how I would have planed things but usually God has things turn out better than I plan them.

My Thoughts on Driving

Sometimes beating traffic is just a matter of picking the right lane at the right time and sometimes that is the cause.

I love the feeling of out thinking traffic though very often all my thinking does is cause more problems. Wow driving is really a metaphor for life.

Fear and Self Delusion

I am often crippled by fear. I am not sure why I can't rely on the strength of God. I tell my self it is ok. I make excuses and try to justify my actions but fear is a powerful foe.

Adulthood?

there is this sense of complete separation
a feeling of self imposed abandonment
the realization that adulthood means loneliness that all the times as a child that i felt neglected there negligent one had a deep unsettling pain. That can't be dulled with any pain killer.

My Thoughts on Gift Cards

1) Gift Cards are like money, except less useful.

2) Gift Cards are a mark of defeat.

3) Gift Cards can cost your friends and family money.

4)Or the Gift Cards have leftover money on them.

5 ) Gift Cards force people that don't like to shop to go shopping.

6) Gift Cards don’t earn interest so it is free money to the store.

7) I really like getting Starbucks Gift Cards.

Man With Out a City

So unlike what my last blog said I moved out of my house in Valencia yesterday December 24th. Sad times. Well now I am a vagabond with out a home. For the last 9 months I have called Santa Clarita home. What is weird is that it took 7 or 8 months for it to really feel like home.

I am now in a waiting period, too see where God will take me from here.
I feel like a nowhere man.

It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.

Captain of the Procastination Team

I was kind of thinking that I am not really that good of a procrastinator because so times I will put things off until crunch time and then procastinate when most procrastinators would actually be doing the project. But then I realized that to me being a good procrastinator is all about pulling through in the crunch. Being a good procrastinator is about putting things off to the very last minute and then actually getting it accomplished on time. Seeing that I am known for being reliable I think I am probably a world class procrastinator because I am a fairly good judge of when something really needs to get done.

Like for instance on November 27th my roommate asked me if I would be able to move out by the 23rd of December. I decided I wanted to move out on the 1st to save money. Then I pushed it off until the 15th in order to give me some more time to get things in order though life was crazy busy so I decided to push that off until the 22nd but then I was still busy so. So I am here on the 23rd procrastinating which seems bad but I am sure I will be out before my roommate gets irritated.

So even though I am 22 days behind schedule I knew that I had that time to get it taken care of. This is not something I am really proud of. In reality it is my secret shame but I needed to find a way to put of moving a little bit longer.

Goals For Chirstmas 2008

Give Christmas Cards to My 100 closest Friends 12/14/2008
Make a Gift for all of my coworkers 12/19/2008
Make a Christmas Gift List 12/13/2008
Have All My Christmas Shopping Done 12/21/2008
Mail Dad and Nancy there Christmas Gift 12/20/2008
Mail Grandma a Gift 12/20/2008

These are all things I kind of wish I had done this year and either didn't have: the money, the will power or the time. So here is to hoping next year will be better. Lord willing I will have the opportunity to make it happen.

Standing in The Rain at 4:30am

It is a fantastic morning all drizzly and chilly but not too cold.

The Best Roll I've Ever Had

I have been rather broke for months now and today was my first big pay day in a while so i went out to eat sushi. Sadly i didn't have anyone to go with and it was a sushi emergency.
So I went alone to Sushimi in Valencia. The days special was a spicy tuna tempura roll it was amazing. It truly was the best roll I have ever had.

Though a little bitter sweet since no one was there to enjoy it with me.

The Road To Heck?

For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

i am pushed on by my desire to do good and yet haunted and tormented by the fact that my intentions so often fail.

I'm Sick

My tummy hurts and I am feeling really run down. Please feel bad for me and send me sympathy.

The Girl from Sao Paulo

I am amazed by my consistent ability to be attracted to unavailable women. I am always pining.

Tonight I am in a group of single people from my Church around LA and the one girl that I think is really cute has just started coming out to Church and lives in Sao Paulo, Brazil. So leave it to me to find the only girl in the room who is doubly unavailable attractive. Oh well É a vida (C'est la vie).

Sleepocalypse

I am so tired. I have slept 7.5 hours in the last two days that is including a brief nap on Tuesday morning before work. Then all non-sleeping time has been on the go. Other than that brief I have been either working or studying the Bible. It has been a bit insane. I know that God give sleep to those he loves so either he hates me or he is setting me up to really enjoy the gift of sleep.

The First Day Back at My Old Life

So I am sitting here in the office. Lousing my soul. Being drained by the environment. But at the same time being challenged and spurred on. I am a reluctant hunter. Wanting to eat but not wanting to kill. Well the odyssey continues.

My Bloging Record

I am super excited I beat my August record for blog posts handily. I went on a road trip in August and bloged from the road and still only posted to MWH 10 times. In the month of November I posted 17 times. Which is a 70% increase. So all you readers out there got so much more for your money in November. Hopefully this will keep up and I can reach the point of daily posting. Now only if I could acomplish this on Pedia Digest.

Beards

I was at a bar last night watching a show. I am really glad i jumped on the beard bandwagon when i did. It seems like beards are becoming super popular. Fortunately for me I was a day or two ahead of the crowd.