Coming Clean

I often hold back the things that go on in my heart. I am very reluctant to reveal the real me which is probably why no one reads my blog. Today I revealed my self and my dirty little secrets to two of my friends. I did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. For a long time I had felt trapped by these secrets.

But on the other hand the they set me free. They allowed me to live in an imaginary world were I could do anything and be anything. In that world I felt powerful and accomplished. It allowed me to escape all of the ways I feel like a failure in the real world.  The sad thing was I didn't like who I wanted to be in that world and the success was simply self satisfaction. Actually many time the success was giving other satisfaction so they would want to interact with the successful me.

I am Jet Lagged

Well I am in LA. I am trying to work though jet lag is ruling my life.

My Quest For My Favorite Movie

OK I have a confession to make. I have been lie about my favorite movie. I haven't really had a favorite movie up until now so I would tell people that my favorite movie was a movie I think they would like or one that I have like for a long time. The other day I was asked by a stranger (a guy I meet on a tour of the earthquake affected areas of Sichuan) about my favorite movie. I gave him some of my old stand by and then Amber mentioned her favorite movies and I realized I need to discover what my real favorites are.

Here are my criteria.
1. It needs to be re-watchable.
I think a favorite movie needs to be able to be watched a million times and hold up under the strain.
2. It needs to have inspire emotion.
I have never been a big fan of mindless movies so the movie needs to make me think or laugh or cry or all off the above not just pass the time.
3. Really I was kind of done with criteria after number.

So I have started to repeatedly watch movies I like, to see how they hold up to the re-watchable criteria. My candidates so far are; "Pursuit of Happyness", "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and "Elf" which I hadn't seen until the start of this endeavor but was hilarious.

Chinese New Year's Eve

I returned today from my four city tour of China today. It was very eventful. I learned about China I met new friends and I learned to interact better with my old friends.

I came home and watched Gran Torino and The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. I hadn't heard anything really good about Gran Torino. It was funny I kept hearing from people it was good but... I was never clear what the but was all about, and after seeing it I think it was just good.

Though The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind has left me in a very melancholy mood.

Any Thing Can Happen in 2010

Wow so it is three days into the new. 2010 so far is on track to be amazing. I have been in China for 135 days. It has definitely been one of those weird times when times seems to fly and yet be so long all at the same time. To think that I have been here almost 4 and a half months seems so crazy but then so many things have happened if I had to guess I might say that I have been here 6 or 7 months based simply on all that has happened. Five Chinese people have been baptized in the Pancakes IHOP group. I have made some best friends. I started studying the Bible with a guy. Then had my heart broken when he my heart quit studying. Then I went through a phase where I was depressed that Juan was studying the Bible with two people and I wasn't studying with any. I got pointed back in the direction of the Bible and God. Started relying on God and am now studying the Bible with five guys. Plus I have lost 20 lbs. Man if God keeps up this pace anything can happen in 2010.

Oh and PS. I think this will be the year I jump on the medical mask bandwagon.

Christmas Tastes Better With KFC (Just Ask the Japanese)

KFC Christmas in Japan LA Weekly Article

From the perspective of a foreigner living in China this article hit home. Since China is just getting into Christmas and loves KFC I am suprised it is not like this here.

Potential

potential

the potential to change history, to reach out and make goals and dreams reality. Everyone has this potential, in the story of the Tower of Babel, God says, when man works together, nothing is beyond them.

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Many people have told me i have great potential....what they mean is that they think i could be doing so much more then i am.

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Potential is such a crazy thing. A person telling you that you have so much potential is a very back handed complement. It really is saying that you are not doing enough. I used to be told this a lot mainly when I was in Middle School and High School. Then in the past week at 32, I was told for the first time I was that I had a lot of potential and then someone was gave me specifics on how I can change things to fulfill that potential. It is such powerful and encouraging thing to have someone tell you I think you have so much potential and then give you specifics on what is holding you back rather than simply say that you are not living up to your potential.