Sunday, February 24, 2008

My Blankets

As I left the house this morning on time with two cups of coffee in me, teeth freshly brushed, hair combed, env in my pocket, pea coat on, and my argyle van.

I felt like a man.

So i started thinking about how layers of clothes in my mind cover my fat and make me feel confident and how I need to louse weight by summer. Then i realized all this was just a security blanket and i am just as much Linus as I was when i played him in the 8th grade drama production of your a good man Charlie Brown. The blanket has simply been replaced by the symbols of Yindieism.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

It is time to preach the word of God

Apocalypse Please Lyrics

Declare this an emergency
Come on and spread a sense of urgency
And pull us through it all
And pull us through it all

And this is the end, the end
This is the end
Of the World

And it's time we saw a miracle
Come on it's time for something biblical
To pull us through it all
And pull us through it all

And this is the end, the end
This is the end
Of the World

Proclaim eternal victory
Come on and change the course of history
And pull us through it all
And pull us through it all

And this is the end, the end
This is the end
Of the world

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

English to English Translation

I am the best English to English translator there is. I have been saying it for for years and as I think about it this comment may stem from pride. Though i think it also comes from the way that I view the world. I have always wanted it to be some concrete and definite thing. I have always wanted to translate the chaos into some sort of order. Plus I am prone to seeing other peoples perspectives on things so I think I can easily understand what they are trying to say.
But when one is translating something is always lost. The translator can only hope to convey the general idea or communicate the message but all nuance and the subtlety are lost. Misunderstanding is created by the choice of words. What you are truly trying to say is never what gets translated. Because the way we try to say it is what creates the need for translation.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Puppy Bowl

My coworker feels, "people who hate America should be shown this." I don't know if it is me being jaded but it seems that things like the Puppy Bowl are why people hate the US. Though at least we both agreed that it is truly what the USA is all about. The only problem is that we see the same thing in a completely different way.

Morning Glory

I have had these seemingly misplaced feelings of bliss lately. Like yesterday I had this very positive moment as i was walking out to Church in the rain. I auroa or cloud of joy came upoun me. This morning I felt the same way. Though what makes the happiness weird is that I have so much self doubt.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Land of Tempered Joy and Mesmerizing Enchantment

No I am not in New Mexico. I left my house in Sun Valley it was drizzling and the chill was nipping at me like a playful pit bull puppy. The world seemed so full of hope that anything can happen. But not really in that overly optimistic way but because of the challenges and set backs. I don't quite no how to describe it. It seemed like it could only go up from here but with out the despair or melodically of being at rock bottom.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

I have very mixed feelings about homosexuality. I feel that it is sinful and wrong. Though I also feel that there are many sins, that homosexuality shouldn't be looked at as especially heinous.
I am reading the book called fun house which is a graphic memoir. Written by a lesbian, whose Dad was had several pederastic sexual relationships while married to her mom. Then he ended up "killing himself". The book seems to scoop out part of my soul and lay it bearand raw. It evokes a fear in me that the fathers fate could be my own. That there are tendencies with in me that may some day over through my psyche.

Plus pained childhoods are a soar subject for me.