Life is a Mixed Bag

(Note To The Reader: If you haven't been able to tell yet I tend to look at my life as being pretty significant in the world so the following may seem overly dramatic.)

I am ready for the next step in my journey. I have been stationed in Valencia for the 9 months. I am not really sure where I will be going but God has called me to leave. I am excited though I also feel a dark cloud hanging over the change. I am sure that if I had made different decisions I would feel better about making the changes. I may now be better prepared to make them if I had been more responsible. Though on another hand I feel that things have kind of gone the better than I would hope. There is some things really many things I wish had not happened, but I feel no regrets.

Is this lack of regret a sign of my immaturity or is instability? The answer is a phrase that most represents my life "I don't know."

I have been haunted by those three words. Out of nowhere when I am thinking of nothing in particular I will say "I don't know." This is how my soul speaks to the universe. Repeatedly it has been said with fear. But todayI am truly trusting in those words.

I have already been taken care of by friends, family and most importantly God. I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know where I will be in a month or 2 or a year or five years. But it a source freedom to know that God is working more powerfully than I could ever know.